Wednesday, May 2, 2007

A Father's Best Gift


You may have heard that the best gift a father can give his children is to love their mother. He may be crazy about his kids, but the best way to show it is actually putting the needs of his wife above them. This is true for a variety of reasons.
First of all, by doing so, he will help provide them with a loving, peaceful home. This will set them up to be more secure and well-adjusted. So many children live in homes full of conflict or even hatred. Many other children live without their father present at all. Children are very egocentric in their world view – in other words, they believe they are at least partly to blame if something is wrong. It may make them feel like losers or victims. Parents who are continually feuding will be challenged to give their children the emotional stability they need.
This is why it is important for couples to work on their own relationship. Getting away together for a romantic weekend may upset the kids at the time, but is good for them in the long run. And they need to hear Mom and Dad say they love each other. Some couples spend all of their emotional energy on their children, but they should focus on each other first, then the kids.
I know in the real world it is not always possible for Mom and Dad to stay together – and he is up against it if she isn’t doing her part, and I know many men truly love their children, but have left their mother. But the ideal situation for children is one man and one woman loving each other, loving them, and working hard to provide a stable home.
Remember, the kind of love we’re talking about here isn’t a feeling, it’s an action. A willful choice to fulfill her needs, take care of her, make her happy, and everything else he promised on their wedding day. It’s the decision to do his part to provide a happy home for everyone. This may require a measure of sacrifice, but as with anything of value, it is well worth it.
Another important reason for a father to love his wife is that his sons are watching how he treats her; that’s how they learn to treat the fairer sex. Daughters are watching him too, to see how they can expect to be treated. What a tremendous responsibility. Fathers, your daughters will look for someone like you to marry. Is that a good thing?
When a father lives with his family, he is also providing them with the best possible economic outcome. The number one cause of children living in poverty in America is an absent father. This is just one of many reasons why a man should only have children if he is married to their mother, loves her, and plans to stay with her for the duration. I don’t care what Hollywood says, or what rap, country, rock or pop songs say.
Children are resilient and can overcome many obstacles, but a physically or emotionally absent father gives them a whole new layer of difficulties to climb through on their way.
Fathers, how about it? What do you think the best gift is you can give your children? Is it something you could purchase at a store? Is it quality time spent with them? Is it encouragement or a moral compass? Is it financial or emotional support? These are awfully good, but not the best thing. The best gift you can give them is to love their mother.

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