Harris Family Christmas 09

Feeling Close to God

I just don't feel close to God. I used to feel close to him, but not anymore. Have you thought this lately? I hear people say this and I experience it myself from time to time. Is there a secret to feeling God's presence? Is there a secret to feeling close to God?
How sad to go through the Christmas Holidays feeling disconnected from God. But many people do. How sad not to be joyful during such a joyful time. How sad not to feel the peace of Christmas. How sad to have to reach for pills or drinks to fill an emptiness. How disappointing to find that doesn't work.
Yes, there is a secret and I'm going to share it with you. The night before Jesus was crucified he left his followers with a command: love one another. That's the secret.
Are you telling me I have to love other people in order to feel closer to God? Yes, read on.
Jesus knew he was leaving their presence and going back to heaven. He knew they - and we - would need help feeling close to him after he was gone. So he did two things: he gave us the Holy Spirit to keep us connected to him, and he told us to love one another.
If you want to feel close to God, then draw close to other people. Hold them close. Hug their necks. Laugh and encourage and share and weep together. Remember, this is what Jesus told us to do. Think about it, if God wants to give me a hug, he uses your arms to do it. We are Jesus in the skin today. We are his hands, his feet, his voice. His love. That's the tremendous privilege and terrible responsibility he left us with. This is the church, the body of Christ.
We live in an endless circle of love. God the Father loves Jesus, Jesus loves us, we love each other, and we love God. If you aren't feeling close to God, then make sure you aren't breaking the circle. Make sure you are loving each other.
But, is it really this simple? Yes, but it's hard to do. We are pulling farther apart from each other these days. We lock ourselves in our homes and sit in front of the TV. We live our lives vicariously through fictional characters who tend to push us away from God. We listen to everyone except the ones who are speaking the real truth. We ignore God's love letter to us. We're too tired to go to church. We don't want to sacrifice for anyone. But Jesus said there is no greater love than for a person to lay down his life for his friends. Remember that? So, we have to sacrifice. Friendship with God is valuable, so it is costly. We have to stop being selfish and start loving like Jesus taught us.
When we do this, we will feel close to God. I guarantee it. This Christmas, draw close to your church family. God is not far away, we just have to love each other to feel how close he really is. We have to draw close to Jesus' body to feel close to him. Dive in, get plugged in. Jump in the middle of the circle. Then, when you see me, you can thank me with a big hug, straight from the heart of God.

At Church Today

Our friend Julia took this picture of us after church today.

Palestine Christmas Parade

It was bone-chillin' cold at the parade tonight, but we had a good time. Here are a few pictures.

Christmas Tree 2009

Put up the Christmas Tree today. We've been using an artificial one the past several years, but we got a real one today. It's a Douglas fur and makes the house smell great.

Pittsburg, Texas, Trip

We made an interesting trip today. It was nostalgic for me because I haunted these towns a lot when I worked at KLTV in Tyler. We went through my grandfather's home town, Winnsboro, then on the Pittsburg, where we ate at the famous Pittsburg Hot Links restaurant. The picture is not very good, I admit, but I was trying to get the Pilgram's Pride factory in the background of the shot. That telephone pole is right in the way. At the restaurant, they serve the links on paper with crackers and it's really good. Then we went to the museum to see the Ezekiel Air Ship. Supposedly, a preacher made an aircraft based on what he read in Ezekiel. They say he flew it before the Wright Brothers, but it was destroyed on a train taking it to a world's fair, so he never got credit for it. The nice lady at the museum let me take a picture, as you can see. This is a recreation of the original, but we can't see how it would ever fly, unless a good wind happened to come along. On our trip, we went through Tyler, Winsborro, Mineola, Quitman, Gilmer, Big Sandy, Pittsburg, Wynona and Frankston. It was more than 200 miles, round-trip.

Shower The People

James Taylor performing "Shower the People" at the Colonial Theater in Boston in 1988. This is from a VHS that was released in 1991

Beautiful Fall Weather

Wow, have I been enjoying the weather this past week! It's been just about perfect. Cool at night and warm during the day. I've been sitting on the patio today enjoying the blue sky and colorful leaves. Did a little mowing earlier, but even that was enjoyable. God is good.
Last Saturday, the day began with a parade (You can see Savannah watching through the band members in the photo) and ended with a hay ride. In between, we went downtown to a festival and ate extra-long corn dogs and had a great time. Blessings. In the pictures, you can also see the rocking chairs on the patio (that's my sweet tea glass in the bottom right corner) the beautiful tallow tree in the front yard and my laptop on the patio table, where I'm writing this.

Monster Mash!

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David's First Payin' Job

David made real money for a real job Saturday. I was really proud of him and he did a good job. My folks needed someone to mow their yard and hired him to take care of it. I couldn't help myself and went out with him and took a picture when he wasn't looking...

Nice Desktop Picture

I took this picture on a rainy evening recently. I cropped it and found it makes a really nice desktop. Download it if you want it.

Jello Vs The Gopher

We have a gopher in the yard and we have a dachshund. The result is a yard that looks like this!

David's 15th

My son's 15th Birthday is Tuesday. He took some buddies out to my parents' place in the country to celebrate. Here are a few pictures.

Shooting Stars and Quiet Moments

Laid out in the back yard on the trampoline with the kids several nights in a row last week. There was a warm breeze and it felt pretty comfortable. We turned the lights off so they wouldn't distract us from the night sky. We were watching for shooting stars.
This has become an annual tradition for us. Each summer, the earth passes through the tail of a comet and little pieces of rock burn and streak across the sky as they enter the atmosphere at 60 miles up traveling at 17 thousand miles per hour. It's called the Perseid Meteor Shower and it peaks around August 12th. So as that night approached, we laid outside and watched for them.
The first night, we only saw one meteor after lying there for about thirty minutes. But it got better each night and I saw eight on the night of the 12th. It's pretty neat to see them, but you have to really pay attention because they streak fast and you have to be watching.
None of that is the point, of course. The point is, I laid out on the trampoline with my teenage children. No TV, no video games, no cell phones, no mp3 players, no twittering, blogging, texting, emailing, no wifi or high speed internet, not even any dial-up. No telephone of any kind. No facebook, myspace, youtube, movies or radio. No satellite radio or satellite television. No rented movies or pay-for-view or netflix. Just us lying outside. Crickets were the only sound. The only sound, that is, other than our voices.
And our voices were low and calm. Everyone could talk about whatever they wanted. No one was lecturing or preaching or teaching. Well, there might have been a little teaching going on: I pointed out some of the constellations that I could remember. And I know the names of a few stars, so I pointed them out. I told them that the beautiful cross-shaped constellation that was straight above us is called Cygnus the Swan. I don't call it that, though, I call it the Northern Cross. It makes a perfect cross in the night sky. Astronomers may have given it its name before the cross became so significant, I don't know.
But again, my knowledge of a few star formations is not the point. The kids talked about their friends and their plans for the year. Some of it may have been a little silly. Maybe a giggle or two. But the point is, we laid out on the trampoline for a nice, long time.
We were watching the sky when what looked like a shooting star suddenly appeared. It flashed then blinked out. We thought for a second we were seeing a meteor, but then it blinked on again. It was a firefly flying overhead.
After a while, our eyes would get tired or we would get bored, and we would climb down and drift back into the house to the tsunami of technology that was waiting for us inside in the electricity. But it was nice for a while, and it was a memory. That's the kind of thing that keeps the lines of communication open between us old fogeys and our cool kids.
That's how we earn the right to pass our values on to our children. Take some down time with your kids. Find a way to smother the distractions and open the dialog. The kids will love you for it and you may just enjoy it yourself -- especially when a good shooting star streaks across and lights up the night sky.

San Antonio

We went to San Antonio for a couple of days. I think all true Texans must visit the Alamo now and then. So, we loaded up and headed down there. We had a really good time on the river walk, at the Rivercenter Mall, and having lunch at The Rainforest Cafe. We met my wonderful editor, Cari, who helped me with my novel, The Dead Peasants File, this summer. (Her daughter Ashley was with her.) Great time was had by all. Some of these pictures are kind of random. I took the one of the Robert E. Lee Hotel out of our hotel window because it says "100% Air Conditioned"...

Yellow Mushrooms in Yard

We've been blessed with plenty of rain in our area this month. So much so, that we have white and brown mushrooms all over the yard. No big deal. But I spotted these canary-yellow mushrooms in the yard today. I thought they were really pretty so I took this picture.

We have a new pet of sorts this summer. It's an Orb-Weaving Spider. We first noticed it early in the summer, but you can only see it at night. Every morning, this web is gone. One of the mysteries is where the web goes. Does the spider eat it? We don't know, but the spider rebuilds it every night. It's over on the edge of the patio (You can see our giant red oak tree behind it in this picture) and I figure it's helping with the mosquitoes out there.

It's amazing to watch it weave this web every night. It patiently walks around and around, spinning the web as it goes. It's incredible engineering and design when you think about it. (Clearly this arachnid was designed!) It's interesting that it doesn't get caught in its own web.

48th Birthday Party at Our Place

Really enjoyed our 48th Birthday for Jody Morton, Michael Bennett and me. Present were: Mortons, Bennetts, Magees, Harrises, Lusts, Furnishes and Cannons. I cooked burgers on the grill.

Twin Fawns

I was sitting at the table tonight, eating some excellent shrimp gumbo that my wife made. It was as good as Landry's! Suddenly, these twin fawns came walking up to the window. I grabbed the camera and the dog so he wouldn't scare them off and snapped a couple of pictures. The fawns were beautiful with full spots. This second picture is a large jpeg file if you would like to download it for your desktop.

The Faith of a Child

I walked past the pool deck in our back yard about thirteen years ago. We had an above-ground pool and a high deck on one side so we could get in it. The deck was about four feet off the ground. My son, David, was about two years old at the time. Just a little guy.
As I walked past the deck, David, who was standing in the middle of it, suddenly ran to the edge at full speed and jumped off of the deck at me. I just happened to see him out of the corner of my eye. I quickly turned and caught him in my arms, spun him around, and set him on the ground. He ran off in one direction and I continued on my way.
When I read what Jesus said about having faith like a little child, that's what I think of. David had total and complete faith that I would catch him. If I hadn't caught him, he would have crashed to the ground, possibly hurting or killing himself. He didn't give it a second thought. He made the leap of faith and never looked back.
Please understand me: I had already earned his trust or he wouldn't have given it to me. God has also earned our trust with the Bible and his intervention in our lives. David's faith wasn't a blind faith, it was an earned faith, supported by the evidence of my behavior up until that moment in his life. Our faith in God is also supported by the evidence. But faith takes you one step - or leap - past what you know for certain. David couldn't empirically prove I would catch him, but his faith told him I would.
A child's faith is also a humble faith. Jesus said so himself. A child knows he needs you to catch him and it doesn't bother him at all. Jesus said if we do not become like a child, we cannot enter the Kingdom of Heaven. In other words, we must realize we need him to save us. A child has no problem asking for help. Some adults feel they can earn their own entry into heaven, but Jesus said we cannot.
Do you have the faith of a child? Have you made the leap into his arms? If he drops you, you'll crash to the ground, but you trust him anyway. You have evidence, but your faith takes you one jump beyond it. If you place yourself completely at God's mercy, you are right where he wants you to be. Take the leap of faith. Adventure - and heaven - is waiting.

Jasper, Clear as Crystal

I preached a couple of Sundays ago from Revelation 21 where John said the new Jerusalem shone like “jasper, clear as crystal” (Revelation 21:11). I looked up jasper and found it to be green, red or even beige, but not clear. I wasn’t sure what that could mean, but I presented the scripture as it was written.
Of course, I didn’t think any more about it. Then, four days later, I was driving home from Tyler. I noticed a new building being built by one of the local hospitals. This building’s sides are made of tinted green glass. In other words, it’s a normal, windowed building that we all see all the time.
Then it hit me. Wait a minute, that’s what John saw – tinted windows. Of course the new Jerusalem would appear just as any modern city. But John had never seen glass. He had never seen a building – or a whole city – made of tinted glass. That must be what the new Jerusalem looks like!

John was trying to describe something he had never seen before, just as he described helicopters in Chapter 9: 7 – 10.
And some people still don’t believe the Bible is true?

Memorial Day 09

We went out to the Texas State Railroad Park to see the military displays, including a reinactment. Really neat.

A Miracle in Colorado

Has anything like this ever happened to you? I was a kid on vacation with my family, sometime back in the ‘70s. We were in Lake City, Colorado. We had arrived the day before and, as far as I know had not fraternized with any of the locals.

Sunday morning we got dressed and went to the local Baptist church. (This picture is what the church looks like today.) No big deal. I’m sure my mom is the one who insisted that we go. Anyway, when we walked up onto the front porch, a lady met us at the door. None of us had ever seen her before, but she said something astonishing. She pointed at my dad and said, “I believe you are a song leader.” Then she looked at my mom and said, “And you are a piano player. Will you lead us in worship this morning?”
My dad led the singing and my mom played the piano. From what I recall, it was a small crowd. I don’t even remember who preached, but I’m talking to my folks to get a clearer picture of what happened that morning. Mom says my dad even sang a solo. I don’t remember that. But I do remember what happened on the porch. I saw it with my own eyes.
So, how did the woman know that my dad routinely led the singing at our church? More astonishing, how did she know my mom could play the piano? If she had asked, “Can you lead in singing, and can you play the piano?” It would have been completely different. But she didn’t ask – she said it, then asked if they would do what she already somehow knew they could do.
I’m working on piecing this together – when exactly we arrived, what year this was, how old I was. When I get more details, I’ll post.

Finding God's Plan for Our Lives

Are you teaching your children that God has a purpose for their lives? Are you teaching them to fulfill their destinies? I heard Charles Stanley say that we should tell our children every day that God has a purpose for their lives. Good advice, but do we teach them that God has a specific plan for them?
A familiar scripture, Jeremiah 29:11, says, "I know the plans I have for you...", but what scripture tells us God has a plan for us? Does God have one plan -- one destiny -- for everyone?
The Bible says that God sees our whole lives before they happen. He saw us before we were born, knows everything we are going to say and do, and knows how many days we have. Somehow, God in his Wisdom knows what we are going to do, yet he has given us free will so that it is our choice. He knew you would read this column before you were born, but he didn’t make you read it, that was your decision, he just knew you were going to make it. Perhaps God has given us all certain interests and bents, and then uses them to point us where he wants us to go.
What the Bible teaches is that God's plan is to present us in heaven without fault and with great joy (Jude 24), his purpose for us is to build the Kingdom (Matthew 28:19-20) while we love Him and love each other (Matthew 22:37-38). His will is that we be perfect (Matthew 5:48). Anything short of that just falls, well, short.
So, does God have a plan for my life on earth or not? Does God have a plan for my children's lives or not? I think the right question is: "Am I living in harmony with God's plan?" The right thing is to realize that I am just a pixel in God's big picture. I am just a thread in God's master tapestry. (But God loves me individually.)
My goal, then, is to do my best at what I am, where I am. To grow where I'm planted. To ask each and every day if I am loving God most and building his kingdom on earth. That's where true joy comes from -- knowing that I have that purpose.
I think we put extra pressure on our children if we stress that they have some great job to do. The Bible teaches that we should do whatever we do for God, but it doesn't teach that everyone should preach or go to Africa as a missionary. Yes, we should share our faith, but that may or may not be our vocation.
Whether my children become plumbers, lawyers, teachers, office workers or preachers, they can still live out their purposes. They may do something really spectacular, like curing a disease or becoming an evangelist, or they may just live quiet lives loving God and their families. Either way, I'll be pleased.
We're not God's pets, robots or puppets. He gave us our own minds. Many things shape what we become. God somehow uses that to weave his master plan. Only a God powerful enough to create a universe could do that. I think God's true plan for us will only be revealed in heaven. Any plan for us on earth is stained by this fallen world. Some people are murdered -- could that really be God's plan for them? It's a deep and difficult issue and I'll leave it to God to sort out.
I'm teaching my children to fulfill God's will, sure, but I'm also encouraging them to do what they really want to do. I'm reminding them that they have a purpose, but finding God's plan is a little more tricky. I want them to delight in God, then follow their hearts. If they do that, they will have fulfilled their destinies and somehow fit nicely into God's master design.

Paradise Lost and Restored

If you were God, how would you handle the world and people in it? You are the creator of the universe and have absolute power. What would you do? Me? Well, I would create paradise and walk in person with my people. They would have every need provided, never shed a tear, and have a warm, loving relationship with me forever.
Isn’t that what God did? But there was a problem and he knew there would be. He knew that the people would have to have free will in order to truly love him back. Love cannot be coerced or manufactured, it must be freely given. I can’t make my wife and children love me, it must be their choice. And God wants us to love him. The Bible says it is the most important commandment.
So God gave us free will, knowing full well that we would choose to rebel against his authority. That’s how important love is. The price? Paradise lost. That’s the incredible story of the Bible in a nutshell: Paradise Lost and Paradise Restored.
God knew subsequent generations would need to see and touch him in order to believe he exists. So, he used prophets to announce that he would come and walk among us. And then he did. Because God is God, he is absolute holiness, so he cannot overlook rebellion – if he could he would not be truly holy, and therefore, he would not be God. So, someone had to pay for our sins so we can have a right relationship with him. God took care of that on the cross. How would he prove it was really him walking among us? Miracles and rising from the dead should do it.
But he isn’t going to come to each generation and walk with us. If he did, we would be back in paradise, and paradise doesn’t fit into a fallen world. So, he left witnesses to tell us he came and walked with us. The only question is, are the witnesses reliable? We have two thousand Greek manuscripts, extra-biblical writings, the emergence and growth of the church, conversion of the skeptics, and some 350 internal prophecies fulfilled testifying that the scripture can be trusted.
If you were God, would you come and walk with each generation? Would you die for each generation? Or would you place your Spirit in their hearts? (Remember, you are an omnipotent God)
Nature tells us there is a God. Only a fool would deny that. The big bang is an empirically-proven fact. Something outside the universe had to cause it. The only way a person could not see this is if he refused to. The incredible diversity and complexity of life on earth tells us there is a designer. Only a fool would deny that. Computer code doesn’t write itself and neither does DNA code.
But which god? The internal prophesies that Jesus fulfilled, and the evidence of his resurrection show that the God of the Bible is the right one.
We must experience some suffering now, but God has told us that he will walk with us and that this life is only temporary. Our true existence is back in paradise with him. There, he will walk in person with us in a warm, loving relationship forever.
Again, how would you do things differently if you were God? Would you treat the people you created like pets? Would you treat them like robots? Or would you give them free will and the capacity to truly love you back (more like children)? Would you allow everyone into your heaven – or would you screen out those who chose not to love you?
My mind is finite and God’s is infinite, but I’m trying to understand why he has veiled himself from us so that only the humble will find him – and why we need faith. When I think it through, it really does make sense.

Crown of Thorns Galaxy

1. Have you seen this? What an awesome sight for Easter.

This photo was taken by the Hubble Space Telescope.

Wow!

B-17 and B-24 Bombers!

I escorted some Palestine High School students out to the airport today to see these awesome WWII Bombers. They also had a P-51 Mustang and Vietnam-era Huey Helicopter. I really enjoyed going through these crafts. We got to watch the pilots fire up the airplanes and take off. This was especially special to me because my great-uncle, Jake Lively, flew in a B-24 over Italy during WWII.

Water Snake

We were at the Palestine Dogwood Trails today and saw this water snake. I'm not sure what kind it is, but I think it's too colorful to be a cotton mouth. We didn't get close enough to make sure, but I'm pretty sure it is a harmless water snake of some sort. It was about 2 feet long. If you know what kind it is, write and let me know.

Dogwood Trees 09

Here in Palestine we celebrate the Dogwood Trails every Spring. Today was the first day of spring and the dogwoods are beautiful. I took this in our Dogwood Trails Park. This is a big jpeg file so you can save it and use it for your desktop if you wish.

Great American Artists

Has America produced any great artists? My son read in a book at school that some critics have stated that America has yet to produce a truly great artist. "But not to worry," it said, "America is still a young country." The book was written in the '70's.
So, do you agree? Michaelangelo, Bach, Beethoven, Shakespeare, and Di Vinci are all European. Has America produced a Shelly or Keats? A Picasso?
First, we must agree that the artist must be appreciated by his or her vertical audience -- by people after his or her death. We might be ga ga about some artist who is hot right now, but how will we feel about him 50 or 100 years from now?
How about Washington Irving? Or Steinbeck or Hemingway or Emily Dickinson? How about Mark Twain? Haven't their works stood the test of time? Then there's the artwork of the Wyeth's. I love their work, but I've seen critics call them too realistic. I think Andrew Wyeth was a great artist -- and not just a great American artist.
To be considered great, an artist would need to influence his peers, and change the culture. That being the case, the early rock and roll artists should be considered.
Still in the area of music, I submit the great hymn-writer Fanny Crosby. I also wonder about Ray Charles and Johnny Cash. I would like to submit Mark Heard as a truly great artist. He died a few years back. My favorite artists are Walter Becker and Donald Fagen of Steely Dan, but they are still living. I was a sophomore in high school when my brother brought home "Aja". I was reading "The Great Gatsby" at the time (another great American writer, F. Scott Fitzgerald). I would lie on my bed, reading the book (I had to read it for an English Literature class), and listen to the album over and over. It was an amazing harmony of song and literature. They call that prosody - when lyrics match the music. In this case, the words on the page matched the music in my ears which matched the lyrical tone.
My son read this blog and pointed out that we have movie-making artists these days, too. Should any of them, be they actors, directors, or producers, be considered as great artists?
What do you think about this? Do you think America has produced any truly great artists?

Essential Character Traits

What character traits do you want your children to possess? Noted Child Psychologist Dr. Tim Kimmel says there are six character traits that all children must learn as they mature.
First, faith. Faith gives a person the ability to see beyond his immediate surroundings. He can see that there is more to this life than what he is facing at the moment. This is important because our immediate circumstances will not always be to our liking. Faith gives a person hope. It is a character trait no one would want to be without.
Second, integrity. Integrity comes from the mathematical term, integer, which is a whole number. A person with integrity is honest, straight-forward, and consistent, no matter the circumstances. A person with integrity is wholly devoted to his principals and beliefs.
Third, poise. Poise is the ability to remain calm when things around us are falling apart. Dr. Kimmel says poise is the ability to act in an appropriate manner for the situation. There are times to act silly and times to behave in a more serious manner.
Fourth, self-discipline. This is the trait on which the other traits hang. The goal of parenting is to instill this character trait. This is what will save them when we are not around. This is what will keep them out of a world of pain and trouble. Self-discipline has been defined as having the ability to delay gratification. I like that because it reminds us that we can experience pleasure, but it is best in its proper place and time. A person who “can’t wait” for anything is going to suffer because of it. A person who cannot make himself do his homework before he plays a video game needs a good dose of this character trait.
Fifth, endurance. Endurance is the ability to stick with it and not give up. Every child will face many challenges in his lifetime. A person with this character trait will see things through. This is important in relationships, jobs, school, and just about everything else in life. Quitters never win, but winners never quit. We must teach our children this.
Sixth, courage. We often think of courage as not being afraid, but real courage is being afraid and doing the right thing anyway. Children will face many temptations, but courage allows them to make the right decisions. Having the courage to stand up for what is right will serve them well. Having the courage to do what is right will take them far.
So, how do we instill these character traits in our children? We can’t talk them into having them. Values are generally caught, not taught, so our children will catch them by observing us demonstrate them. In other words, we need to possess these traits if we want our children to have them. Fortunately, our kids can do better than us, but most of us have a tendency to follow the character traits we see in our parents. And yes, we tell our children what we expect from them, specifically vocalizing these traits, but that must be backed up by our actions or our children may tune us out.We want our children to possess these character traits. The truth is, they will generally follow the character they observe in us. Let’s make sure that is a good thing.

Frozen Fog Picture

We had a rare frozen fog in my home town, Palestine, Texas, Thursday. I was at work, but had a camera with me and was able to take a couple of pictures. I really like this one. It's First Baptist Church and the YMCA. The trees had a coating of ice on them and it made everything look like a post card. My boss said, "Surely God is the best artist." Amen.

Saying the Right Thing at the Right Time

Sometimes saying the right thing at the right time can make all of the difference. I remember the day before our daughter's surgery, back when she was seven-months old. We were meeting with the surgeon and scared half to death. Our daughter had a crimp in her aorta and it was forcing her little heart to work too hard. The surgeon was going in to fix it. He was explaining what the procedure was like and what the risks were. I doubt there was much color in my face. He had earlier told us there was a small chance she could be paralyzed if the surgery took too long.
But then he said something I have never forgotten. He said, “You guys get a good night's sleep tonight and I want you to know that I'm going to, too.” I found great comfort in that. It showed how seriously he was taking the surgery. He wasn't going to be out partying all night, then crawl in in the morning ready to wield a scalpel. I believed him too. It just didn't seem like something he would say if he didn't mean. We barely got any sleep at all, but I've always believed our surgeon did. And, of course, he was the one with our daughter's life in his hands. We were just spectators at that point, except for the praying.
He could have left it unsaid, knowing that we would assume he would. His position demanded that he take his job seriously. We could have assumed he would come to work rested. But we didn't have to. He told us plainly and we didn't have to wonder.
We can say the right things at the right times too. Our loved ones shouldn't wonder how we feel about them. They can know that we love them and that we are proud of them. They can feel appreciated. We can thank them. We can say we're sorry when we've blown it. These are the words that keep us connected. These are the words that bind us together.
Men, we shouldn't make our wives wonder if we love them. We should tell them plainly. And often. And we should tell our children just as plainly and frequently. True, actions speak louder than words, but can’t words crush us or make us soar?
Children crave hearing their parents' approval. The truth is, we all want to feel appreciated. The right word of affirmation at the right time can keep us going. It can make your day, just as discouraging words can ruin it.
Take the leap from thinking it to saying it. Go ahead, tell people how grateful you are for their friendship. Tell people how much they mean to you. Tell people how nice they look, how sweet they are, or how well they are doing their jobs. There’s no need to leave words that should be spoken unsaid. But we have to watch this or we will leave too many things silent and assumed.
If a person is doing his job well, he may never hear about it, but the first time something goes wrong, he’ll hear all about it! Let’s do better. Let’s tell our children’s teachers that we appreciate them. Let’s tell our doctors, mechanics, pastors, business associates, and others in our lives what they mean to us. If we do, we’ll teach our children to be appreciative people. And we’ll teach them to say the right words at the right time. There’s no way to measure how much it might mean to someone someday.

New Year's Resolutions for the Family in 09

It’s a new year and a fresh start. A time for us to stop and reflect how to be better parents in 2009. Here are five resolutions for this new year:
1. Spend more quality time with your children than you ever have. I say this every year and have no plan to stop. There is just no substitute for this. Children spell love T-I-M-E. We can tell them we love them all day long, buy them material things, and provide for their every (other) need, but we’ll fall short this year if we don’t find a way to spend good, quality time with them. This means unfettered time. Planned time is not the same. Our children need some time with us that is unscripted – when they can take the lead in the conversion.
I’m not suggesting we let our kids dictate our every moment or conversation, but giving them large scoops of our down time is a wonderful gift. I’ve found some of the best bonding I’ve done with my children comes in these moments. They know we really love them when they come into the living room and we turn off the TV. Try it in 2009 and see what happens.
2. Laugh with your kids more this year than you did in 2008. In our busy lives, we may simply forget to do this. But we shouldn’t. Laughter bonds you as a family and makes your home a more comfortable, pleasant place to be. You want your kids to want to be around you. Sometimes we have to be deliberate about these things. If it’s been a while since you’ve had a good laugh together, do something about it. How do your children view you, as someone who is somber and serious all the time, or as a joyful person who is optimistic about life, has a good sense of humor, and a good balanced outlook?
3. Plan, then take a trip or two together this year. It’s tough in a down economy to spend the money that trips require, but it’s money well spent. Some of our family’s favorite memories are made on vacations and trips. Remember, we can’t go back in time and do things together, so we have to take advantage of the time we are given today. We can’t (or shouldn’t) spend what we don’t have, so this can be a challenge, but a challenge we should accept. In our home, we tend to take shorter, cheaper trips, but the point is to have some fun, do something together, and make some memories.
4. Watch your tongue in 2009. Know that your children are watching and they will catch your morals, values and faith. If you say your faith is important to you, but demonstrate with your actions that it is not, they will follow what they see, not what you say. How is your language in traffic? How well do you treat your spouse? How do you speak of people who are different?
5. Make sure your children feel connected this year. Researchers are finding out how important this is and families are in prime position to take full advantage of the benefits. We were designed to be connected. Nothing is more important in our lives than our relationships. We must feel that we belong. We must feel connected, loved and cared-for. That’s what family is all about. But we have to be deliberate this year to make sure our children feel welcomed in their own homes.
Let’s work on these goals this year so our families will have the best year ever.