Thinking With the Upper Brain

Are you helping your children develop their upper brain functions? Did you know that it is difficult for them to learn anything new unless they feel safe and loved?
This was the discussion of a session at a parenting conference I attended last week. The class was about the three mental areas of the brain: the stem, the limbic system, and the cortex.
The brain stem is the area of the brain that controls our basic functions. We don’t have to think about breathing or keeping our heart pumping. The brain stem handles these automatic functions of the body. It also springs into action when we feel threatened. It causes a fight-or-flight, knee-jerk reaction. No social skills or empathy for others here, just survival. The brain stem asks the question, “Am I safe?”
The next level of brain function is in the limbic system. This is the part of the brain above the brain stem. The hypothalamus, pituitary gland, and hippocampus are part of this system. Researchers say this part of the brain controls our emotions, long-term memories, motivation, appetites and sleep cycles. Our sense of smell is also here, which is why memories are so closely associated with fragrances. Cinnamon and pine usually bring a flood of Christmas memories.
But here is what is so interesting to me: Religion is found in the limbic system. I had assumed our feelings toward faith would be in the higher areas of the brain, where philosophy and wisdom reside, but not so. The reason is because the limbic system handles our need to connect. We are hard-wired to connect with each other. We are hard-wired to be loved. We are hard-wired to believe in something. This is how gangs thrive: because we all have a strong need to be a part of a community. If the family doesn’t provide this, the children will seek it elsewhere. If the church fails, gangs are glad to take up the slack.
The limbic system asks the question, “Am I loved?” It is difficult for higher learning, sympathy and wisdom to have a chance if we are stuck on this question.
We can survive with these two areas of the brain, but we can’t excel or thrive. To do that, we must use our higher brain, or frontal lobes of the cortex. Here, we make choices, control the impulses of the lower brain, anticipate consequences, learn from experience, organize our thoughts, plan, set goals, and practice critical thinking. The cortex asks “What can I learn from this?”
Discipline then, is the process of guiding our children from the lower centers of the brain to the higher centers so they can learn. Some researchers say our frontal lobes are not completely developed until we are 24 years old. Think how many important decision we make before that age. It’s kind of scary.
One way to promote higher thinking, then, is making sure the lower needs are met. If our children feel safe, they can move to the next level. When they feel connected to the community that is their family; when they feel loved, appreciated, and accepted, then they can begin to blossom in higher thinking.
This is why some children have difficulty paying attention; they are stuck in the lower levels of brain function because they either do not feel safe or accepted. This is not the only reason children have trouble learning, but it is an all too common one.
As parents, we want to give our children every chance to dwell in the cortex. Smother them with love and acceptance and watch them thrive.

More Football Pictures

These are from October 16th and October 9th. We were in Athens on the 16th and at home on the 9th. They tied in Athens. David ran for 4 yards on the 9th, and for 2 and 8 yards on the 16th.

Political Frustration

Would you indulge me and allow me to join in the cacophony of complaints? We are all frustrated with the economy. Many reading this have lost huge sums of retirement money – or have lost wages or insurance coverage, and hearing about executives going on half-million-dollar junkets while we are bailing them out doesn’t sit too well.
And we’ll elect a new president in a couple of weeks. Both say they represent change from this, but I don’t think either one is going to be able to accomplish what they are promising. Every presidential candidate since Richard Nixon has promised to bring about alternative fuel sources. The only one being widely used is corn for ethanol, and it turns out that is not such a good idea after all.
I thought the one person who said something useful during Tuesday night’s debate was Moderator Tom Brokaw when he asked if either candidate was interested in putting together a team of scientists, like we did with the Manhattan Project, to figure out an alternative fuel source.
Think about it, in the early 40s we put a team of the world’s best minds, sent them to New Mexico and said, “Don’t come back until you figure out how to make an atom bomb to end this war.” And they did it! This was in the mid-forties, before television, computers, the internet, cell phones, plastic, antibiotics, and for half of America – indoor plumbing. Country people didn’t even have a telephone or electricity. But in less than a year we figured out how to split an atom and create a nuclear bomb.
Are you telling me we couldn’t put a team together today to create a hydrogen fuel cell? Take the top minds in the field, set the budget at one trillion dollars (Why not? we’re spending that to bail out Wall Street Fat Cats), send them to the desert and tell them to stay until they figure out how to safely and cheaply run cars on hydrogen fuel cells. That would end our dependence on countries that are using our money against us. It would change the whole world order. It would end carbon emissions, and could cost much less than gasoline, which is a commodity, changing prices and ruining budgets every day.
And when they accomplish this, make them heroes, rewrite the history books, then send another team to conquer cancer, then diabetes, right down the line. Come on, we’re Americans, we can do this!
Instead, the candidates are talking about issues that they cannot even change. They can’t reform health care without complete backing from Congress. Good luck with that. They can’t bring our soldiers home. They can’t offer tax breaks without Congress. They can’t do any of the things they are talking about without majority votes in Congress. That’s why we hear the same promises year after year and they are never fulfilled.
Who we elect is very important, don’t get me wrong, but his powers are limited, and they should be. That’s the idea. But he will appoint judges, so we need to elect a person with our worldview. And we need to consider with whom he will surround himself.
Fresh ideas are good, but I want to hear some that they can actually enact.

Being Proud Verses Having Pride

I walked into the living room the other morning and heard someone speaking on the news. I don't even remember who it was or what he was talking about, but I found him to be obnoxiously arrogant. “That guy is full of pride,” I said. “And pride comes before a fall.”

“What's wrong with being proud?” my son asked. “Aren't we supposed to have pride?”

Now a good question was on the table. He's right; we are supposed to be proud of ourselves. We are supposed to be proud of our work — and take pride in our accomplishments. We are supposed to be proud of our family name and our American heritage. We're proud to be Texans. We're proud of our educations. We take pride in our school work and accomplishments on the sports teams.We have taught our children all their lives to take pride in what they are doing and in who they are, so I could understand his confusion. I guess the problem is with our English language.

We are supposed to take pride, but not be full of pride.

“Well,” I said, “I'm talking about the kind of pride that says, 'I don't need anyone else and I don't need God. I have it all together.' It's good to be proud of yourself and take pride in what you do, but it's not good to think you are better than everyone else.”He nodded in understanding. Our challenge as parents, then, is to instill pride into our children, but not arrogance. To teach them to be independent thinkers, but not to the point of believing they have all the answers. It's not healthy to believe they are always right and everyone else is always wrong. That leads to a crash.

The scripture that says this is Proverbs 16:18, which says, “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.” When he says “haughty spirit”, Solomon tells us what kind of pride he is writing about. It is not a healthy pride, but the kind that elevates us in our minds above where we should be. In the New Testament, Peter writes, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” (Peter is quoting Proverbs 3:34). Again, the type of pride referred to here is the kind that says, 'I don't need God. I can handle everything myself.” In context, Peter talked about being humble in our dealings with each other and with God.

There is an American ideal that says we should be able to pull ourselves up by “our bootstraps”. We should be an independent man or woman. A hero despite it all. There have been plenty of movie characters who fit this description. John Wayne and Clint Eastwood have played this archetype a time or two. But God opposes the proud for the simple reason he wants us to depend on someone: him.

The balance we need to teach our children, then, is to be independent thinkers, true to good character no matter what, and proud of who they are, but realizing they need others to succeed. We need to teach them they need God, and he uses other people to bless and help them.It may seem like a contradiction, but I am an absolute charity case, completely dependent on God's mercy to feed myself and my family, but I'm also very proud of who I am and what I have accomplished. Working hard makes me proud, but knowing how dependent I am on God keeps me humble.

Life is about balance. We want our children to be proud — just not too proud.