Guilt and Conviction

I was reading a blog the other day and someone said he is free now that he has left "the guiltplex of Christianity", implying that Christians live our lives feeling guilty all the time. Guilty because we can’t live up to God’s standards, and because we continually do things that we want to do, but know we shouldn't.
I was struck by the term “guiltplex” because that is exactly how I don’t feel. I haven’t felt guilty in so long I don’t even remember the feeling.
It made me think about guilt and Christianity and my own experience. I can remember church leaders trying to make me feel guilty when I was younger. Sure enough, I wasn’t doing something exactly like they wanted. But as I’ve matured I’ve come to realize that guilt is a terrible motivator. When we feel guilty, we are punishing ourselves for sins and mistakes from the past. It isn't a good motivator because we tend to rebel against it. God knows this and a lot of church leaders need to learn it. God uses conviction, instead. The Holy Spirit convicts us of sin and encourages us to stop doing it and do better. Conviction encourages us; guilt discourages us. Conviction pushes us forward; guilt drags us backward.
As it happens, the Bible says Jesus removes not only the guilt of sin, but he even cleanses our consciences of it. (Hebrews 9:14). Because he paid for every Christian’s sins once for all, we can live our lives guilt-free.
In truth it is those who are not Christians who live with a guiltplex. They are the ones who feel guilty because God's punishment has not been removed from them. Even if they don’t care what God thinks, they still must carry the guilt of every sin they commit. Jesus said we are slaves to sin when we sin, but he sets us free. (John 8: 34) If you haven’t felt the freedom of living a guilt-free life, then you haven’t experienced true Christianity.
It is an irony: we know we’re sinners, but we don’t live in guilt. How can this be? Because Jesus took care of the guilt of sin when he forgave us. Yes, we still feel conviction when we sin, but it is not the crushing feeling of shame and unworthiness that guilt brings. We Christians still sin, but we have the power not to live a willful, sinful lifestyle. It is very freeing and very wonderful. Who wouldn’t rather be free than enslaved? It is Christ who sets us free; freedom from Christ is enslavement.

Well, if it's gonna rain every day...

The kids went out this afternoon (David, still in his church clothes) to jump on the trampoline. Just then it started to downpour. They just kept jumping, so I went out and took this picture. (Don't worry, it wasn't thundering...)

Headin' for an Achy Breaky Heart

I was channel-surfing today just as Elizabeth Hasselbeck on The View was introducing Billy Ray Cyrus. I stopped because my daughter watches Hannah Montana every day on the Disney Channel. It’s a cute and clean show and I think Billy Ray does a good job playing the dad of his real-life daughter, Miley (AKA Hannah).
Elizabeth asked him what it was like being a TV dad and real-life dad at the same time. Billy Ray said he always wanted to be his children’s “best friend” and it worked at home and on the show. Uh oh, I thought. I hope he doesn’t really mean that.
Then, The View guest co-host Dayna Devon asked Billy Ray how he planned to steer Miley away from the dangers that have beset Britney, Lindsay and Paris. His answer? He said Miley was a really sweet girl and all he plans to do is make sure she has a good time. I couldn’t believe that was his answer. Having a good time is exactly what has lead the afore mentioned starlets into all the trouble.
In Billy Ray’s defense, the questions may have caught him off guard and he simply wanted to come across as fun-loving and cool. But both of his answers were wrong.
First, Miley doesn’t need him to be her best friend, she needs him to be her father. She needs him to teach her values, morals, limits, and responsibility, both by example and by word. And “having a good time” is not the answer to keeping Miley on the straight and narrow (which is the phrase Devon used when asking him the question.) The problem with this is it only leads to more and more “fun”, pushing the limits, trying harder and harder to have a good time. It’s exactly the lifestyle we keep seeing with those troubled celebrity vixens.
Miley can (and should) have loads of fun, but Billy Ray must clearly explain to her that there are consequences to her actions and that certain lifestyles will lead her where she doesn‘t want to go. Britney and Lindsay were both cute, innocent, Disney girls too. Billy Ray better adjust his parenting style, if what he said today is true, or one day that cute little daughter of his is going to stomp all over his achy breaky heart.

Dallas Explosions

I've been watching the news about the acetylene tanks blowing up near downtown Dallas. I pray for the men who were burned, and I'm glad no one was killed, but I'm also thankful this didn't happen while we were up there yesterday. This plant is right across the highway from Reunion Tower. Here are some more pictures we took from the tower. You can see Dealey Plaza, Texas Stadium in the distance, and more of the buildings. The Hyatt was also damaged by the explosions. You can see the pictures I took inside the hotel yesterday.

Dallas Day

We loaded the kids and went to Dallas for the day. We had a really great time. First, we visited the Dallas World Aquarium. Then, we went to the top of the Reunion Tower. We drove by victory plaza at the American Airlines Center, then visited the Sixth Floor Museum and walked out to the place where Kennedy was shot that fateful day.

Pleasure or Meaning?

We spend our lives trying to become more comfortable, more free, and seeking more and more pleasure. Isn’t everyone’s goal to be happy, content, and fulfilled? How do we find these things, and especially when life isn’t turning out like we thought it should? What about when tragedy strikes? Can we still be happy? These were the questions asked by Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl.
Frankl says the pursuit of pleasure is not the highest aim of mankind. That leaves us unfulfilled. It is the recognition that our lives have meaning that brings contentment.
Frankl was already a published psychiatrist in Austria in 1942 when he was sent to four different concentration camps by the Nazis. Frankl, a Jew, spent the next three years watching thousands of men die around him. His wife and parents also died in the camps. In his book, Man’s Search for Meaning (Pocket Books, 1984), Frankl describes his years in the prison camps and the lessons he learned about the human spirit.
He developed a form of psychology he called logotherapy. (Logo from the Greek term for meaning.) He contended that a man can survive almost anything if he feels his life has a purpose. In Auschwitz and the other camps, he spoke to many men who were despondent about their situation. They were starved and cold, laboring daily with no hope in sight. None of them knew if he would live through the day, much less the year. They had had every possession taken from them, and were even separated from their loved ones.
But so long as they felt they had a reason to live, they could find the will to exist another day. He said all freedoms can be taken from you except one: the freedom to choose how you are going to react to a situation. In the camps, some chose to live completely selfishly, but some chose to be optimistic, searching for meaning, perhaps even helping those around them.
After Frankl was released in 1945, he continued to speak and write, building on his experiences. He found that many of the mental challenges people face are because they do not realize that their lives have purpose. One study showed that a group of drug users began to take drugs because they felt their lives were meaningless. Parents need to realize this and understand how important it is for their children to feel they are here for a reason -- a higher purpose than pursuing their own pleasure.
The good news is that any person, of any age, and in any circumstance can find meaning. Frankl says we do so in three places: creating a work or doing a deed; experiencing something or encountering someone (loving someone); and the attitude we take toward unavoidable suffering. (Suffering should be avoided, but when it cannot, it can cleanse us and make us stronger. He says facing suffering is itself a noble purpose.)
Seeking pleasure, in fact, is almost a guaranteed way not to achieve it. It is when we pursue meaning that we find contentment. When we aim to fulfill the needs of those around us, we will be fulfilled as well. Pleasure will find us when we are not seeking it.
If, however, we try to fill our lives with our own pleasures, we will be unsatisfied. The idea, then, is to try to see beyond ourselves and consider those around us. The pleasure we experience will not be something at which we aim, but a result of our attempts to love and care for others. Mankind’s highest pursuit is not pleasure, but meaning.

UFO?

I was sitting outside on the patio just before dark tonight reading Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning when I happened to look up and see this. The pictures don't reveal how huge this thing was in the evening sky. If I didn't live where I do, I might have thought I was seeing some extra-terrestrial action, but NASA has a balloon base about five miles from our house and sends these up from time to time. I'm told these weather balloons are a big as the Astrodome when they fully inflate, several miles up. They are an awesome sight.
I plan to write about Frankl's book this week, so keep watching.

Does God Love Everyone the Same?

My son asked me a really good question yesterday. He asked if God loves everyone the same. I said, “Yes, he does. But he’s not proud of everyone and I want him to be proud of me.”
That’s the short answer. Doesn’t God love everyone? Isn’t that what John 3:16 teaches? “For God so loved the world…” So God loves each of us with a sacrificial love that put Jesus on the cross on our behalf. And if Jesus died for everyone, like the verse says, that means he loves everyone equally.
But what about evil people who hurt others and show no regard for God? We have to remember that there is a difference between God’s love and fondness. God, in fact, does not even “know” everyone. Jesus said he will tell many, “Depart from me … I never knew you.” (Matthew 7:23). “Knew” here means “had a relationship with”. God knows everyone and everything, but only those who accept his gift of grace have a relationship with him. When we accept his grace, we become his children, our name is in his book, and he “knows“ us. I’ve heard people say that everyone is a child of God. I disagree. Everyone is God’s creation, but only those who have accepted him are his children.
Further, the writer of Hebrews says that “God is not ashamed to be called their God”, referring to those who have faith. (Hebrews 11: 16). Earlier, in verse 6, he says it is impossible to please God without faith.
So I know God loves me. I can’t do anything to make him love me more or less. But I want him to be pleased with me, proud of me, and know me as a father knows his son. I know he loves me, but I want him to be fond of me, too.

Undone

There's something about John Elefante's music that gets to me. He is the one artist who can get under my skin and make me weep. Several years ago I was driving home, listening to his song Corridors. I was rocking along and he sang, "And when I look into the eyes of my child, so innocent, I see evidence of your love; evidence of you. Then it makes me realize that's how you see me: made within your image so pure and perfectly." I was a young father at the time and I was suddenly undone. I lost it and cried all the way home, listening to the song over and over again. The chorus says, "So take me down the corridor that leads me to the cross. Take me to where you are; Lord I want to be where you are."

Then, it happened again yesterday. I was sitting on the patio listening to my mp3. Elefante's song Talk to Me came on. I've always loved that song for the way it sounds. (It's also on the Corridor's CD), and I've always known that Jesus came and walked in our shoes. I just last month preached at church from Hebrews 4:15 "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are -- yet was without sin."

So this concept is certainly not new to me, but I guess yesterday God knew I needed to hear it. It crawled all over me. In the song, John and his brother, Dino, wrote the chorus from God's point of view. It says, "Talk to me, let's have a conversation; I hear more than just words, I can hear down in your soul. So talk to me, I'll do more than listen, I stood where you're standing and I know just how you feel."

Suddenly, it was God singing those words to me. I just sat and wept. It was an auditory epiphany of sorts. Our creator came to earth and felt what we feel, was tempted like we are, experienced the frustrations, anxiety, disappointments, and pain. So talk to Him. He really does understand and he can see down into our soul -- our innermost thoughts and feelings. And best of all, he loves us more than we can fathom.

46th Birthday Party

We had a birthday party for Jody Morton, Michael Bennett and me at our place last night. It was a lot of fun, spending time with our friends. We've been friends with most of these folks since childhood. The guest list: Dwayne and Angela Lightfoot, Walter and Judy Bales, Rodney and Shirley Furnish, Gregg and Janice Magee, Mark Rogers, State Agriculture Commissioner Todd Staples and his wife Janet, Michael and Leslie Mynatt, Lee and Larissa Loveless, Stacey Bennett, Tina Morton, and Jodi. It was bittersweet because Dr. Michael Mynatt is leaving this month to go on staff at First Baptist Church, Atlanta, Georgia.

Rain

It's been an unusual summer. I think it has rained nearly 20 days in a row, and it has not gone more than a day or two without it since May. Usually, we are sweltering in the 90s in early July, but it's been in the 70s and 80s every day. The forecast? More rain. In Texas, we don't complain about rain in the summer, but it is getting to the point where we're ready to see some sunshine again. When I am able mow, between the showers, the grass is almost too thick for my mower, and our dirt driveway has washed down the road. All the lakes in this part of the state are full, though, and we're catching up on the water we needed, so we're blessed.

I don't mean to be flippant, however, about the lives and homes that have been lost in this weather pattern in other parts of Texas. Our prayers go out for those families.

Go See Evan Almighty

I took the kids to see Evan Almighty this afternoon. I wasn't that excited about seeing it. After all it's not getting stellar reviews and I wanted to see Transformers. But we went because I want to support films like this one. It is family friendly, with a great message. If this is what we want Hollywood to make, we must support such movies when they do make them. In Hollywood, money is the only thing that talks. (We would have seen it when it first came out, but the kids were at camp and this was our first chance.)

So let me tell you what I thought about the movie: I LOVED it. I laughed all the way through it and had a lump in my throat at the same time. I was touched by it. I loved the wisdom "God" in the person of Morgan Freeman shared. In the opening moments, Evan gets on his knees and prays, asking God to help him. I can't tell you how refreshing it was to see that in a movie. So many people just live their lives without acknowledging their creator.

This movie is the most expensive comedy ever made and you can clearly see why. The ark is life-sized and there is a huge cast of birds and animals.

I loved how Evan had to deal with his own doubts, the ridicule of his family and friends, and the sacrifices he had to make to obey God. That's exactly what it's like to take a stand for God in a world that would rather do its own thing. The characters in the movie wouldn't even believe when all the animals showed up and that's just what it is like today. There is evidence for God all around us and most people simply choose not to see it.

Monday is my birthday and here's what I want as a gift for me from you: gather your friends and family and go see this movie. Support it so Hollywood will make more like it. Send a message that this is what we want on the big screen.

I think the critics didn't like this movie because they have never felt the doubt or ridicule of being obedient. This is one of my all-time favorite movies and I applaud its producers, cast, and director.

Remember to Show Affection

It feels so natural at first. A baby boy comes into the world and his parents hold, hug and kiss him without a second thought. Then, as he grows taller than they are, it doesn’t come so easily anymore. But that growing young man needs love, affirmation, and affection as much as he ever did.
It may be a little more awkward to grab a big kid and give him a bear hug, but he still needs it and we are wise to give it to him. If he doesn’t get the attention he needs at home, he’ll seek it somewhere else.
Many fathers feel uncomfortable lavishing love on their daughters as they bloom into young women, but a teenage girl still needs that affirmation and will seek it elsewhere if she doesn’t receive it at home. What a tremendous opportunity we have to provide the love and appropriate affection our children need.
I hug my kids, kiss them on the forehead or cheek, and tell them I love them every single day. That means a lot to any age person. Who doesn’t want to be shown love and affection? Who doesn’t want to be told he is loved? And an immediate reward is I get to hear my children tell me they love me right back. That’s what family is all about.
Our children still come jump in the bed with us during thunderstorms or on Saturday mornings. This is normal and healthy. Our daughter climbs in the bed for some reading time with her mother almost nightly. That is a special time for them that builds a bond of love and understanding. And I hug and kiss their mother in front of them every day, too. If they are nearby, they’ll join in for a group hug. We tell our children we love them when we’re saying goodbye, whether it’s for a day at school, bedtime, or they’re going off to camp for a week. Then, we grab them for a hug when we get back together. It’s all about letting them know they are loved. When families are affectionate, we can tell each other we are sorry; we can open up and discuss details of our lives; we feel connected, loved, and ready to take on the world.
Sometimes, I’ll be sitting in my chair when one of the children will come and plop down in my lap. I can choose to shoo them away or affirm their need for affection and connection. But I am aware that my choices have consequences. Letting the kids sit in my lap today may enable me to stop them from going to that dangerous party tomorrow.
If every child received the affection he craved, gangs would disappear. And so would a lot of the promiscuity, drug abuse, and other negative behavior associated with peer pressure.
We were created to connect to each other and this begins at home. Parents still must be parents and not friends, but showering affection on our children goes a long way toward earning the right to do that. If children know we love them because our actions show it and we tell them so, they will naturally be more attentive and obedient toward us.
Don’t ever stop hugging and kissing your children. Don’t ever stop telling them you love them, even when they become teenagers and begin to pull away from you. Show them appropriate affection and positive affirmation. In this way you will earn the right to pass down your values, to discipline them; and you may just prevent them from a world of hurt.